In this blog post, we’ll break down what you can expect from your divorce attorney, from your initial consultation to the final judgment. Whether you’re considering divorce or are already in the midst of the process, understanding your lawyer’s role can help you make informed decisions and ensure you’re getting the legal support you need.

The Initial Consultation

When you first meet with a divorce attorney, the consultation is an opportunity for both you and the lawyer to determine if you’re a good fit for each other. Expect to discuss your situation in detail, and be prepared to answer questions regarding:

1. Your marriage. How long have you been married? Do you have any children? Have you and your spouse separated before? Did you try marriage counseling?
2. Assets and debts. You will need to provide background information about property, income, retirement accounts, investments, and debts. This information is vital so the attorney can learn about your financial situation and offer informed legal advice.
3. Child custody. If you have children, the attorney will likely ask about your relationship with them and what custody arrangements you are seeking. You should also be prepared to provide specifics regarding your children’s schooling, medical needs, and extracurricular activities.
4. Child and spousal support. If you have children, the attorney will most likely discuss how child support is calculated in Missouri and what can change the amount on the Form 14 Child Support Calculation Worksheet. Also, whether you are seeking or likely to pay spousal support will be a topic of discussion.

The attorney may ask you to bring specific documentation (like financial statements, tax returns, and any relevant legal agreements) to help them assess your case more thoroughly.

During this consultation, the lawyer will explain their role, how the divorce process works in your specific county, and whether mediation will be required.

You can ask the attorney about his or her experience with cases like yours, if he or she is a member of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), what their general ideas are for handling your divorce, and the cost of representation. This meeting is a good time for both you and the attorney to get a sense of each other’s communication style and whether it aligns with expectations.

Communication Style and Preferences

Once you hire a divorce attorney, one of the most important aspects of your relationship is ongoing communication. You will need to update your attorney regarding important aspects of your case, and your attorney will need to keep you informed during the divorce process. Your attorney should not simply tell you what you want to hear; rather, he or she should explain your options and potential outcomes. A good divorce attorney will also make sure you understand any documents you need to sign and will respond to your questions. You should expect the attorney to answer your calls and emails; however, understand that just because you hit the send button doesn’t mean that the attorney is available. Telephone calls are usually better than emails, so you can speak to someone in the office to find out whether the attorney can speak with you today or will need to call you on a different day, as he or she may be out of the office for court or mediation. Establishing a good communication routine is essential. Ask the attorney how he or she prefers to communicate and set expectations around how often you will hear from the attorney about your case.

Your attorney should do their best to discuss complex legal terms and concepts in a way that you can understand. Most importantly, your divorce lawyer should provide an honest assessment of your case. While any attorney could simply be optimistic about your chances of success, a good divorce attorney will be transparent about challenges in your case. You may find that information disheartening or believe that your attorney isn’t fighting for you; however, the opposite is true. Your divorce attorney is doing their best work when discussing the realities of your case instead of simply trying to be your friend.

Setting Realistic Expectations

One of the most important roles a divorce attorney plays is to help you establish realistic goals specific to your situation. Whether you’re fighting for custody, navigating complex financial divisions, or dealing with allegations of wrongdoing, your attorney should encourage you to communicate your top case goals so he or she can strategize how to best approach your case. Based on the information you provide, the attorney can assess the strengths of your case for those priorities (e.g., evidence of financial misconduct or clear custody arrangements) and potential weak points (e.g., missing documentation, legal challenges). This information can also allow the attorney to guide you through the pros and cons of settling versus litigating the case in front of a judge.

Asset and Debt Division

One of the most significant components of any divorce is the division of assets and debts. Divorce attorneys are crucial when it comes to navigating these financial issues, as they will ensure you understand your rights and that property is divided equitably. Your divorce attorney will ask for a detailed financial disclosure, including assets (homes, cars, bank accounts, investments) and liabilities (loans, mortgages, credit card debt). It is essential that you disclose everything to ensure everything is accounted for in the final divorce judgment. Your attorney may work with experts like financial analysts or appraisers to assess the value of high-value assets (e.g., businesses, real estate, or retirement accounts). If the divorce involves business interests or large estates, it may be necessary to hire forensic accountants or financial professionals to ensure that assets are fairly valued and divided. Your attorney will advise you on how debts should be handled and help negotiate a fair arrangement based on what the judge would most likely do at trial. They will also assist with the division of pensions, retirement plans, and other complex financial instruments.

Child Custody and Child Support

For divorcing couples with children, custody and child support are often the most sensitive and challenging issues. Your divorce attorney will work with you to ensure that your rights as a parent are protected and that your children’s well-being is prioritized. Your attorney will help you understand Missouri’s preference for joint legal and joint physical custody and your burden to prove to the court if you want a different custody plan that you believe is in your children’s best interests. Your attorney will help determine how much child support you or your spouse may be required to pay, based on Missouri’s Form 14 child support guidelines, including both spouses’ respective incomes, physical custody arrangements, and the cost of health insurance or work-related childcare. If the case is contentious, the attorney will discuss with you the role of a guardian ad litem or a custody evaluator to assess the best interests of the child.

Mediation and Court Representation

Many divorces don’t need to go to trial, but some do. A divorce attorney’s role in dispute resolution depends on your situation. Whenever possible, a good divorce lawyer will encourage settlement through attorney negotiation or mediation. Divorce mediation is a way for both parties to work with a neutral third party to reach an agreement without the need for costly and adversarial court proceedings. If settlement efforts fail and a court trial becomes necessary, your attorney will help prepare you for the trial process, including gathering evidence, preparing testimony, and presenting your case in court. If the case goes to trial, your attorney will be by your side in court, presenting your case, cross-examining witnesses, and advocating for your rights. Whether the case is resolved through mediation or in court, your lawyer will work with you to prepare for each process.

Final Thoughts

The divorce attorney plays a critical role in helping you navigate the legal complexities of divorce. The attorney provides legal advice, manages paperwork, negotiates on your behalf, and ensures that you are being listened to. The divorce process can be long and emotionally draining, but with the help of a skilled attorney, you can move through it with confidence and clarity. By knowing what to expect from your attorney at each stage of the process, you can make better-informed decisions and reduce the stress and uncertainty that often accompany a divorce.

Should you need the assistance of an experienced divorce attorney in Creve Coeur and O’Fallon or have questions about your divorce situation, know that we are here to help and ready to discuss those questions with you.